Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Rosenberg's Power Five Bottom Ten for Week 11

By: Jeremy Rosenberg

Join me each week as I unmask the worst of the best, the teams that play in big time conferences, but end up with small time accomplishments. My bottom ten is made up only of so-called power five conference members. I have little interest in haranguing the UTEPs or Bowling Greens or Rices of the world. Nope, I’m after schools with massive football budgets, coaches with obnoxious salaries, and legions of sheep-like fanboys and fangirls that refuse to admit their program sucks.

10. Arizona (4-5)

            Bear down! The Wildcats make their Bottom Ten debut. They were on a bye last week, and the week before, suffered a 56-38 loss to former Bottom Ten mainstay Oregon State. Now that they are here, I expect big things out of Arizona.

Next week: @ Oregon (The Ducks smell a college football playoff birth if they can win out.)

Prognosis: Duck beats cat.

9. West Virginia (3-6)

            The Mountaineers predictably lost at home to Texas Tech, extending their losing streak to five, and officially putting the program in free fall. Rarely does West Virginia stink this thoroughly. Hard times in Morgantown.

Next week: @ Kansas State (The Wildcats lost a disappointing game at Texas, and will be ready to take it out on West Virginia.)

Prognosis: Mountaineer massacre in Manhattan. 

8. Kansas (3-6)

            The Jayhawks had a bye last week, but not a week off. Listening to a week’s worth of Les Miles making motivational speeches qualifies as work.

Next week: @ Oklahoma State (As usual, the Cowpokes have a solid squad.)

Prognosis: KU is KO’d.

7. Maryland (3-7)

            The ‘Terps held their own against Ohio State, losing by a score of 73-14. It could have been worse.

Next week: BYE

Prognosis: Why is this better than being in the ACC?

6. Syracuse (3-6)

            The Orange had what must have been a thoroughly relaxing bye week, wondering where and how it all went wrong.

Next week: @ Duke (The Blue Devils need to beat Syracuse to hold onto slim bowl hopes.)

Prognosis: Grant Hill with a late floater over Lawrence Moten.

5. Georgia Tech (2-7)

            The Yellowjackets clearly don’t have what it takes to be a true bottom four team, they keep putting forth something that looks like effort each week. Tech gave Virginia all they could handle in a 33-28 loss.

Next week: vs. Virginia Tech (The Hokies are a tough team to figure, but they will be a tall order for GT.)

Prognosis: Another hard fought loss for the ’Jackets.

4. Vanderbilt (2-7)

            The ‘Dores dropped trou at Florida in a most uninspired 56-0 defeat. Vandy officially moves into the coveted last Bottom Ten Final Four spot.

Next week: vs. Kentucky (The ‘Cats are still fighting for bowl eligibility.)

Prognosis: Vanderbilt cements its spot in the bottom four.

3. Arkansas (2-8)

            The Hogs lost their supposed cupcake game in humiliating fashion to Western Kentucky. Chad Morris has been fired after less than two seasons. It is officially rock bottom for the Razorbacks.

Next week: BYE

Prognosis: LSU on Nov. 23. Eat hearty, for next week you dine in hell.

2. Northwestern (1-8)

            The Wildcats confirmed early suspicions that they could resemble a football team every now and then, by playing tight against former Bottom Ten foe Purdue. Alas, the result was another loss, just respectable enough to keep the ‘Cats in the two slot.

Next week: vs. Massachusetts (Ah yes, the annual two Weeks Before Thanksgiving Brawl between UMass and Northwestern. Makes you teary-eyed for the days of leather helmets.)

Prognosis: If going to this game is the best thing you can find to do on a Saturday in the Greater Chicagoland area, then you are already dead.

1.  Rutgers (2-7)

            Rutgers enjoyed a week off of being destroyed on the football field, consistently and thoroughly, week after week.

Next week: vs. Ohio State (Has a line for a B1G game ever been -60?)

Prognosis: Chase Young’s backup dominates Rutgers all game long.

Schedule Shaming ‘Game’ of The Week

            One of the most egregious offenses in college football is non-conference scheduling. Each week, I will single out and ruthlessly shame one program for their gutless scheduling.

Ole Miss 41, New Mexico State 3

            Nothing helps build respectability for a down program more than playing what is probably the worst overall Group of Five team, year in and year out. I would have respected Ole Miss more if they played an in-state, HBCU like Jackson State or Alcorn State. But, given the Rebs recent performance, they probably are trying not to be humiliated at home.