Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Rosenberg's Power Five Bottom Ten for Week 13

By: Jeremy Rosenberg

         Join me each week as I unmask the worst of the best, the teams that play in big time conferences, but end up with small time accomplishments. My bottom ten is made up only of so-called power five conference members. I have little interest in haranguing the UTEPs or Bowling Greens or Rices of the world. Nope, I’m after schools with massive football budgets, coaches with obnoxious salaries, and legions of sheep-like fanboys and fangirls that refuse to admit their program sucks.

10. North Carolina State (4-7)

            The Wolfpack make their Bottom Ten debut this week, and quite frankly it’s been a long time coming. With their only Power Five win against lowly Syracuse, N.C. State has been playing bad football for the entire season.

Next week: vs. North Carolina (Mack Brown has been a good story, but the Heels need a win for bowl eligibility.)

Prognosis: N.C. State is here to stay.

9. Syracuse (4-7)

            Syracuse left their defense in New York as they fell 56-34 at Louisville on Nov. 23. I’m pretty sure Dino Babers and the Orange are ready to get this season over with and reboot for next year.

Next week: vs. Wake Forest (The ‘Deacs still have hopes for a ten-win season.)

Prognosis: Someone who used to coach at Bowling Green will win.

8. Arizona (4-7)

            The Wildcats have shown remarkably consistency, losing two weeks ago to Oregon, 34-6 and last week to Utah, 35-7.

Next week: @ Arizona State (The Sun Devils are riding high after a big upset of Oregon.)

Prognosis: Arizona State wins the annual Battle for the Golden Cactus or whatever it is these two programs play for.

7. Georgia Tech (3-8)

            The Yellowjackets re-acquired their stingers and knocked off a bad N.C. State team in a win that probably eliminates them from the Bottom Ten Final Four.

Next week: vs. Georgia (The ‘Dawgs still have real playoff hopes.)

Prognosis: A clean, old-fashioned beatdown by Georgia.

6. Kansas (3-8)

            Les Miles continues to get the most out of this Jayhawks squad, as they put forth a respectable effort in their 41-31 loss to Iowa State. KU should avoid the Bottom Ten Final Four, which seems appropriate considering how much spunk this group has shown over the course of the season.

Next week: vs. Baylor (The Bears have to avoid looking past the plucky Jayhawks.)

Prognosis: Matt Rhule won't allow his team to let up.

5. Maryland (3-8)

            At least one fan base out there is happy that Rutgers is in the Big Ten. Maryland’s freefall has been epic, and shows no signs of ending.

Next week: vs. Michigan State (The Spartans hope to cap off a disappointing season with a trip to an irrelevant bowl.)

Prognosis: Turtle soup.

4. Vanderbilt (3-8)

            Vandy gets another win in the ledger by beating East Tennessee State 38-0. They currently hold the coveted final spot in the Bottom Ten Final Four, mostly thanks to an earlier season 34-10 home loss to UNLV.

Next week: @ Tennessee (The Vols have turned their season around. Good for them.)

Prognosis: Vols win, but are still the second-best team in the state.

3. Northwestern (2-9)

            The Wildcats succumbed to the buzzsaw that is P.J. Fleck and his band of aquatic Golden Gophers, 38-22. The level of their fall is surprising, as they are firmly in the Bottom Ten Final Four, but given his success this season seems like an anomaly for Pat Fitzgerald.

Next week: @ Illinois (A win over Northwestern get the Illini to 7-5, which is a remarkable turnaround. Good for them.)

Prognosis: We get at least one more season of Lovie’s beard.

2. Arkansas (2-9)

            The Hogs’ nightmare season will mercifully come to an end this weekend. Of course, they do have a probable date with the Bottom Ten Final Four.

Next week: vs. Missouri (The Tigers managed to rattle off a few wins before the season fell apart and still hope to sneak into a bowl.)

Prognosis: As bad as Mizzou has been, I just can’t see them losing to Arkansas.

1.  Rutgers (2-9)

            The Knights failed to show a pulse against Michigan State, losing 27-0. It also appears negotiations with Greg Schiano have fallen apart, so clearly all is well in Piscataway.

Next week: @ Penn State (The NIttany Lions still hope to play in a New Year’s Six bowl.)

Prognosis: You’re kidding right? 

Schedule Shaming ‘Game’Conference of The Week

            One of the most egregious offenses in college football is non-conference scheduling. Each week I will single out and ruthlessly shame one program for their gutless scheduling.

            Some conferences simply play football and don’t worry about hype. Others try to constantly remind you just how awesome they are, that they play BIG BOY football, and they chant the conference name at bowl games.

            So, why is it then that every year the SEC has an embarrassment of a weekend like the one that just passed? How can these purveyors of big-time football play such weak games, and why, oh why, do people actually pay to watch these complete mismatches? 

Auburn 52, Samford 0
Alabama 66, Western Carolina 3
Vanderbilt 38. East Tennessee State 0
Kentucky 50, Tennessee-Martin 7
Mississippi State 45, Abilene Christian 7

            For the record, these five games came in at a combined score of 251-17. SEC! SEC! SEC! Shaaaaaaaaame!!!!!!!!